| it was the shyest attempt id ever seen at conversation |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|11:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the track record- talk radio | ] |
ah, boys are so manipulative. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me... so it's evident im a fool. but it all felt so real, and true. boys are manipulative. thats a fact in life i need to learn, you think i would by now. being tricked and frauded numerous times seems to do nothing but make me more of a fool everyday. i would assume after that being said and done i would learn a lesson of some sort. nope caitie continuously appears to be smitten by this particular. i suppose i am just a forgiving person, and nowadays you just can not be this way. but to change your ways appears to be more difficult than to stay the same and get hurt just one too many times. and it is evident that i have been hurt on many occasions yet i still forgive, don't forget yet however many times this happens i forgive. and it is severly taking its toll on my emotions. may not be clear right now but over time i am begining to be a mess. my whole day revolves around whoever i am head over heals for at the time. i am not having a great time unless it involves this one. yet no matter what we're doing as long as hes around i am completely satisfied. matthew nicholas debrizzi is one character alright. use use use. leave leave leave. take take take. AHHHHHH its a never ending cycle. he takes and i give. however i never get anything back from him but i continue to give until it makes me sick with frustration. all day i wait for a phone call something as meak as an instant message would make my day that much better. but all my waiting seems to be tangling my days and emotions. all i wish for right now... to get over this silly obsession with things like this. as much as i am infatuated with him i can not live off of this feeling. i would rather never see him again and get over all of these feelings and just finally be satisfied with my life and what i have infront of me than have him at this point. i really want to increase my relationship with God also. i try i really do. no one forces me to do anything i do. its all me and i want God to influence me in ways no one else can. but it is so hard at this point in my life. i went to church on sunday and by myself none the less. it was great though. i have asked numerous people to join me. i am alone it feels. not only in my search for someone to attend church with me, just in general i feel alone. i feel like no one has the same emotions as i do. i know everyone has the same emotions but i do not feel that way. why is it that so many teens my age can just be satisfied with themselfs and the people that love them? why do i feel it is soooo neccesary to make my life awful. i strive to make everyone i love happy but i tend to forget about the people that truely love me. its overwhelming inside sometimes when all i can do is just live my boring life and not be satisfied everynight when i come home. i dont want satisfaction in everything just in simple things that i normally let pass me by. and i am not searching for a soul mate or anything of that sort just someone to talk to that isnt so infatuated with themselfs they can't love me a little. well this is comming to an end. strange mood im in. i believe it was the ol whipped cream i ate at lindseys... i should listen to her mom more often. :-/ sweet dreams. |
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| my lips hurt real bad |
[Mar. 15th, 2005|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | boys night out | ] |
went to the beach today... soooo fun. met the guy who started fuel. mad cool guy. i was just surfing and this hottie pa tottie was like hey i'm brice whats your name? and i was like... caitie (duh) and so we were talking for a while and then jess n i left and went and got some grub, when we returned i started skating and he was by the fuel van and i was like whoooooa what? and so he called me over and gave us stickers and his # and booklets and stuff to call him if we wanted to model there clothes for the magazines i was like what!? this is astonishing... but i don't think jess can cause shes only 17 and its sorta provocative and i wouldn't for that reason im no slutbagwhore. so anywho i skating for a while... was fun i have some nice road rash on my elbow and knee... you know how we do so then i took jess home and went to maggie moos to hang out with kyle wes lins and logan. wes has a large ego, but super cool friends so who cares about him anyways haha. oh man b4 we went to the beach today we stopped by work to get my camera and to give kev a picture jess' lil sis drew for him, and he was saying how he thinks his g/f might break up with him and i was thinking... yessssssssssss but now im thinking nooooooooo, but whatever who cares i doubt she will anyways he is perfect why would anyone ever beak up with him, ya know? so i am sure i have nothing to worry about. i need a new job... don't know where it shall be yet. anywho time for bed, c-ya |
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| why do i let good things end .... ALL THE TIME |
[Dec. 24th, 2004|04:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
swimming in my head regret, it runs through my thoughts oh every other second hand tick on the clock that reads the minutes of my reckless heart. I remember every word that day the way he looked with a puzzled grin while replying to my strange question, "yeah, sure" will be the words that cross my mind for the next 24 hours until i see the smirk on his face that tells of pain, astonishment, and excitement. all emotions surpass as do i with little as a smile for him to ponder for the passing day only to begin all over, as im walking up the stairs im planning my next move. my heart is beating more ropid as we come closer to speaking again as our eyes meet my mind stops. i become numb. excitement, nervousness, and embarassment, the emotions are overwhelming, his presance is blinding i see no one else. he is all that matters to these frozen eyes. frozen? i prefer glued, frozen is a cold word when what i felt in that moment was all but frost. it was warm, tender, and embracing, everything i could possibly be searching for within one single glance into anothers eyes. those green eyes have been burned into my soul, and now i regret. |
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| booooooored |
[Aug. 12th, 2004|10:40 pm] |
|
yoooo, i havent written in so long but hey im in the mood! well it kinda sucks for those of you who are back in school but i get to sleep in tomorrow :-) haha anyways i got a job, its not a real real job but i mean it helps with the car payments eh? ut ohhhh my birthday is next thursday!!! i will be legal! haha i can buy...porn thats cool i suppose lol. but yah i just got home from practice a little while agp poppa bowe made us run a long way so im really sweaty, well we got home at like 8 but im just dirty and havent showered yet. it sucks lindsey is in school now im so bored during the day! oh wow tho i have THE HOTTEST manager ever hes really not even that gorgeous i just have this infatuation with him, hes just i dunno its wierd i cant even put my finger on it, hes a keeper! although hes 24 haha i will be 18 soon its okay i can fully hit on him next thursday haha j.k! no not really i am totally serious but thats another story! im gonna like lock him in the stock room one day lol ANYWAYS! theres really no boys for me, im just kickin it single nowadays, i had this whole i want matthew huber back! stage but im over it now, i dont know he was just my first real boy friend i suppose so i just wanted that all back once i knew that i made a mistake and hes not having that ish soooo im just not trying anymore, it seems the more i try the more i get pushed away so why try and ruin a good friendship over my own stupidity?! not gonna happen i love him too much so anyways man everyone and there uncle bart wants to come rob my store lol and they all expect me to help them what the?! the only ppl i will truly help by actually like taking sensors off would be lindsey, nicole, emy, a couple other females, n ryan n craig cause ryan hooks me up at ben n jerrys lol i brought in like a huuuuge thing of cookie dough the other day all my managers were like WTF?! u pig ass lol but hey its all compliments of ryan, but i dont know why he gives me it free his g/f could steal him shit she works there too lol, oh and i would hook eric up cause he will hook me up lol we trade off, but yah theres some hotties that work with me, actually its really just tim my manager lol... cause dan is really hott but hes just an ass hes soooo concieted i wanna shoot myself in the face when i hear him talk! but this summer has been amazing, it was utterly flawless i must say! but i need to get to sleep well shower first im smelly lol lataaa |
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| uh buh |
[Apr. 13th, 2004|09:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | brand new- moshi moshi | ] |
holler at me, wellllll today i went after school to frannies to eat with jeff zane jeremy n scotty and then jeff brought me home n i waited for some dumbass kid who calls himself my boyfriend to call me all day but i got sick of waitin after like 5 minutes so i went to sleep and as i woke up at 5 NO ONE HAD CALLED ME! wow but yah and lins never called me either i was upset about that more than over bryan not calling lol hes just so stupid he freaking just sucks at being a boyfriend like i know im no better g/f but lord atleast i try and for once theres other people that like me and im not breaking up with him for them like i do with all my other b/f's in the past... WTF?! i swear i have problems in my tiny head, like i give him the benefit of the doubt EVERYDAY i think its getting old and im getting sick of this shit and freaking matt huber... that kid i dont know what he does to me but goodness... i swear if he ever went out with another girl i would FLIP out i get sooo jelous of him and other girls and i know that he wouldnt ever go back out with me cause he says he doesnt trust me i mean i dont blame him but still lol it makes me sad haha cause like if john went out with someone els ei wouldnt care at all but matthews different and i hate calling him matthew b/c it reminds me of when we went out cause thats what i always called him and now wheneer i say it it reminds me of when we went out and i get sad! cause i miss him so much but freaking if bryan wasnt such an awful b/f maybe i wouldnt have thi sproblem? or would i? ya know like maybe i really do still like matt a lot?! ANDDDD what about matt debrizzi!? uhhh he is the coolest kid i swear and not to mention hes gorgeous!!! but i think he would just be a great friend to have cause were so much alike i think we would have so much fun together damn i hate when ppl like me cause i just get confused... it sucks but yah thats about all my boy sucky ass stories!!!!!!! but yah prom was fucking the funest thing ever!!! |
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| fucking AHHHH |
[Apr. 4th, 2004|10:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dashboard confessionals- the good fight | ] |
god im so sick of peoples shit i swear, okay i fucking find this guy whose totally amazing (it all seems) and so it appears he has a stalker but could it be stalking if he antagonizes it? like you dont even know how much shit i have alreadt felt like i ahve been through because of this guy and girl, okay melissa is obsessed with bryan and she has a fucking boyfriend and has had one for like a year... shes a fucking dumbass nut case, she followed bryan and i to the movies one night to like spy on us... WTF anyways this girl was all jelous of me cause bryan and i started dating and b/c hes going to prom with me so she went nutty and wrote stupid shit saying she wanted to hit me in my oh so cute face on her journal so i got sick of hearing her shit so i walked up to her and i was like hey you wanna hit me in my oh so cute face? and she said no not right now and i said... u ahve no choice and i stuck her in her face... and then we fought for a good 2 minutes and she was screaming like a little girl and saying i dont wanna fight you during the whole thing and i was like STFU and then we stopped and she ran away crying and left her phone keys and shoes in front of me lol HMMM and then she goes and tells ppl she beat my ass when i have not one thing wrong with me... nvm my fist hurts really bad from sticking her in her ugly ass face! but yes sure she beat my ass.... wtf ever i dont give a shit i just know i had enough balls to go up to the bitch and punch her in her fat ass face and if she was kicking my ass why the hell would she be SCREAMING while i was stradled over her sticking the bitch in her face? and why would she run away crying and leave all her shit in front of me?!?!?!?! SOMEONE PLEASE INFORM ME... and every fucking person there said i beat the shit out of her except lance mccauley which is a faggot and didnt even see the fight hes a fucking dumbass... and anyways so ya i ASSUMED i settled the shit but noooo she keeps talking shit... and im so sick of bryan he fucking makes me look like such a fool like i just fucking fought some girl mostly b/c of him like i was fucking friends with her b4 i even started talking to him and as soon as i started tlaking to him and dating him she went nutty and started hating me SO this is basically his fault and now after all that shit he STILL talks to her... how could your boy friend do shit like that to you? im so sick of having to defend him and say no he doesnt talk to her when she tells ppl he does b/c no one believes me and i swear no one is worth all the shit i ahve been through recently... as cool as he is i dont see why im procrastinating the innevitable... hes leaving for the air force in august... and im just going through this shit for NO GOD DAMN REASON so could i be more dumb and put up with there shit and i know that if i just end it then yah she will get exactly what she wnts but i dont fucking care anymore let her have her boyfriend and mine I DONT CARE i just want nothing to do with any of this anymore i just dont need this shit after everything that has happened this year i realize NOTHING is worth this no one should have the right to put me through this... no one, and they wont anymore b/c its gonna be over and that girl can say whatever she wants about me i dont care anymore im giving up on trying to make everyone else happy and thats that |
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| watch out for those rednecks! |
[Jan. 25th, 2004|10:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
heya, just woke up a little while ago... got me some skittles started eating... yummy!!! well the past month is going by in such a blur i hate it so much i cant go out anymore... it is unreal, i hate parties i hate being around certain ppl all of a sudden i dont like ppl who drink or make destructive decisions with there life, i just have such a new view on everything, and i absolutely despise it. if i could have one wish any wish but only one i would wish for jenn to be back and for us to be able to just go out together and make fun of everyone and talk shit about ppl we dont like and to just let it be the 3 stooges again,,, i feel so empty inside all the time in school i cant concentrate i start crying in the middle of class and have to put my head down i just miss every single solitary thing about her, and lindsey is having a hard time with this she is so paranoid about everything she has nightmares everynight, she thinks ppl r trying to kill her all the time, and all i want is for her to be okay again, for jenn to be with us and everyone to be okay again. i know it wont happen and it cant happen but thats my only wish and jenns parents r handleing this so well i dont know how they take it shes all i ever think about every single thing i do or see or touch reminds me of her and our every precious moments together and makes me smile and cry and feel happy and sad all at one moment. its almost unbearable i cant enjoy little thing that i used to love, like every thing we used to do together or a song we used to sing together its so hard for me to listen to or do. and i know a part of me is gone now, and i hold every moment of laughter and fun we had together inside me and just wait till i get to be with her again, and here her voice laughing and singing " all week i've been your husband but tonight i wanna be your man" cause if she were a guy we would have been the perfect couple so that was our song, and laying on lindsey bowes floor with her at 2 in the morning "talking" 30 songs in a row and having both lindseys throwing pillows at us to shut up b/c we r so annoying, i would give anything i have in the world for us to be annoying together again to here her say " that asshole threw my hat in the fire!!!" and see her soooo mad over one plastic new years hat, and see how happy she was at 12 when she kissed dave lol omg she was sooo funny that night i can still here her voice asking what me n lins think of her shirt cause it looked like it was from india lmao and we both just start cracking up and to see her wear her "farmer" shirt again and to have everyone just make fun of her n see her start screaming cause she liked that shirt so much lmao and its times like those when i know god needed her to brighten the skies stars every night with her smile b/c it never wasnt on her face she smiled through everything no matter what happened she had a smile on and god needed another angel to smile down on us, and i know she is safe and having so much fun, i just hope everyone knows this. and right now i can here her singing to me and when the day comes when i cant here her voice anymore i dont know what im going to do, i just hope i never have to live through that day, b/c i wont be able to so Larry, R.I.P. my man :) i miss you so much i will come home soon... R.I.P. Jennifer Lynn Baker October 9, 1985 - January 2, 2004 |
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| mer mer mer |
[Jan. 14th, 2004|10:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | antiflag- punk by the book | ] |
yooo, what up, got outta school early today i enjoyed it! yaya so anyways my mom moved back in i assume... :-\ wtf is that all about? shes so surpassingly gay!! ah but yes i think im going to corbitt tomorrow when john gets out of school, were going to go hunt some animals... predominantly DUCK! cause ya know... I am the duck hunting master haha, well yah i just began to think of this the other day... Anthony hasn't talked to me in a while... :-( kinda sad about that he is a really nice guy as far as i know... but i think he likes his ex g/f, i dont care if he doesnt like me but i just wanna be friends with the kid n now he doesnt even talk to me!!! but whoa whoa guess what!!!!!! great news today, as it turns out Lindsey and I have been searching for Dave Taylors(holy HOTTNESS of my life) phone number for the longest time b/c we want to have some words with him... but ummm i found it.... in my phone lmao yes i am aware that i am a stupid ass dumb fucking idiot!! yes yes, but wow i can't wait for hunting tomorrow :) going to be so entertaining! I live for duck hunting haha, but anyway I am going to take a hasty nap i will write later--> until next time... lata |
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| chill, everyone chill |
[Jan. 7th, 2004|08:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | what a day yesterday way- alan jackson | ] |
havent wrote in a while, havent felt like it i guess, lots happened tho, one of my best friends died, its tough stuff like that doesnt seem like it supposed to happen, i still dont really believe it, i dont cry anymore cause i think it was all like a nigthmare n now shes just gonna come pick me up to go out like before, it just feels like shes on vacation, but even tho i think im gonna see her down here and go out with her still, i know for a fact i will see her in heaven soon enough. but anyways, i broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago i miss him a little, that was my longest relationship lol and it was only 4 months haha im a loser w/e tho aw im going to miss john barbee so much he was down all christmas break n now hes going back to Ocala :( oh well he will be down b4 spring break. i miss jenn so much, i cant wait to be with her again, shes just so awesome. that came out of the middle of no where but i cant help it... i just think about it a lot and i gotta say something ya know. but i think im going to go for now, till next time... peace out duck hunters |
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| what a happy new year huh |
[Jan. 1st, 2004|05:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ghost man on third- taking back sunday | ] |
lets get straight to whats on my mind shall we... alright tonight was kick ass i had SOOOO much fun up until ummm around 1 or 2? i dont really recall the time, w/e not important anyways, well okay... it was all good i was a little tipsy not drunk but i had a couple shots it was nice ya know, n plus im way more friendly when i have a little alcohol in me i wouldnt have had any fun if i woulda been completely sober but thats besides the point okay, i was just chill ya know talking to everyone making some new friends and it was fun cause i was hanging out with Anthony and then later on around 1 he kissed me or i kissed him or something... i dont know i dont remember but yah so anywasy WE KISSED... and yes ding ding ding*correct* i have a BOY FRIEND!!! so i would have to assume that was an AWFUL mistake, and of course people saw and he told people and i most likely would have told people anyways but i wasnt planning on it tonight. and so w/e i figured i would have to tell john anyways but yah umm when me jenn, lins, anthony, mike, and lee were all sitting outside in lees car emily walks up and w/e we were cool she is my best friend but she fucking went over board,,, in front of all of them she goes "OHH lets talk about how Caitie CHEATED ON HER BOYFRIEND tonight" n im sorry that is one thing that shouldnt be told to people unless its you and you want people to know... im sure if it happened to her she woulda been mad at me if i would have done it.(were cool now by the way) but yah it is true it did happen but u know what that is no ones business. and as much as i can sit here and be trying to make it look like she was so horrible for saying it... it would have never been said if i would have just controlled myself and not let it happen to begin with. so i guess this was patially my fault... well all my fault (caitie start something she cant finish DAMN thats ODD?! uhhkay) but still she didnt need to go and do all of that telling everyone, but hey i get over stuff quick so im good, n i told john and he is going to call me in the morning so i was just like yah we were both drunk (not that thats in excuse) and it was 12 and we kissed, and thats that, you do what you think you need to do... soooo i can imagine i will be single in the morning,,, and its going to stay that way for a while (sorry anthony, your so awesome but i just need to sort my shit out) and wow i was soooo incredibly jelous of lindsey and jenn tonight it was insane, they both made out with two incredibly cool guys, and lee likes lindsey (major jelousy going on inside my head right now about that last part lol) atleast i can admit it huh? but yah im way happy for them both but still i am jelous at the same moment also, which is no big deal its not like someone hasnt liked one of my best friends n not me before lol i get over stuff quickly, cause you just cant let petty stuff bring you down, theres so much more out there besides your puny little life, so i am happy for them both, although i believe lindsey bowe is SUPER jelous of evatt b/c of lee haha which is funny as hell even tho i am too its just funny cause bowe thinks he likes her but in all actuality he likes evatt haha,,, funny how life works out sometimes, people can be so misleading (i would happen to be one of those- sorry) whoever reads this i would recommend if your a male and you know me... NEVER get involved with me in a relationship lol im an awful girlfiend n i make a million mistakes that dont need to be made,,, i just dont tend to look at the consequences for my actions, i realize they're there i just dont care, and i guess since i notice this flaw i will try n work on it but i still wouldnt like me lol, its just unneccessary problems! but ya know what im freezing so im going to sleep its 5:25 goodnight! and happy new years for real this time... |
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| IM HOME!!!!! |
[Dec. 27th, 2003|03:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | big butts- sir mix a lot.... :) haha | ] |
heya... just got home from my aunts house... it wasnt as fun as it usually is but thats alright i am glad i got away from everyone for a little while, i think its good for ya every once n a while. well anyways Anthony called me the night b4 last!!!!!!! :) i was happy about that, that kid is so much fun, im very very glad he wasnt angry with me for not telling him i still had a b/f! but yah when i got home from the movies on Christmas night my dad told me he called! i wasnt there to talk to him but im way excited that he thought about me for a second or 2, and umm i couldnt call back b/c my family was still over but i will today since i just got home. man when i was at my aunts... she lives in jupiter hieghts which is a nieghborhood that really loves christmas lol and her whole street had a huge thing about putting lights up so the whole street goes crazy with the lights man arch's over the street freaking it looks like its day time when its really night there so many lights but anyways... there was this one house and they had atleast 100 penguins in the yard like little ight up ones n some big blow up ones n stuff... i was gonna do a secret 007 mission down there n steal some for emily and anthony n josh buuuut i feel asleep lol i wanted them so bad tho!!! they all woulda died if i would have given them each a damn light up penguin to make love with everynight hahah yah i went n saw lord of the rings... it was intense im telling u what... i like was never relaxed it was pretty damn good though i would go see it again for sure... but i still havent seen peter pan! me n emily gotta do that soon... :-\ i miss her we havent hung out since i dunno a while ago i still have her x-mas presents too like she doesnt know its a ducky shirt or anything hehe she picked it out sorta, i tried to be sneaky but that wasnt working! OMMMMMG i just remember i gotta tell emy! i saw this shirt at the movies (some girl was wearing it) n it was just like her duck one except it said Lost PENGUIN!!!!!!!!!!! haha i love it i think im going to go get it its so funny n the while penguin sex thing just makes it greater than it is! well i have to go bring in groceries n drink about 30 capri suns so i can make everyone purses :) im so nice! but anyways i be back~ MER MER MER!!! penguin stylessss |
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| christmas day... eating skittles |
[Dec. 25th, 2003|01:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | taking back sunday- you know how i do | ] |
goodies goodies! christmas was cool i guess, i got some good stuff but yah my aunts comming over tonight i cant wait cause shes awesome! n were going to see peter mufuckin pan! yah yah, well just wanted to do a lil somethin somethin b4 i watch billy madison i will be back!!! |
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| christmas eve.... and still lovin chicken pot pie :) |
[Dec. 24th, 2003|07:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  refreshed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | big apple heartbreak- yellowcard | ] |
yo yooo, well fellas i have to admit today was an excellent day! i woke up around 11, cleaned my room and my bathroom(uhhh i guess u could say that doesnt sound to promising about being a fun day haha.... but wait!) and then i finished wraping all my gifts for my friends and family of course, then i went to matts house n went to church with him his momma and brother. it was the most fun i have had at church! n then when we got back to matt's me n micheal had war! we were raging oh ya b4 that we went to the rec center on bikes lol and i fell off my bike haa... it scraped my elbow up it bled but anyways ya the raging started when he threw me on the ground outside in the grass when we were playing basketball but then i dominated that little fiasco... next he threw a yoohoo at me and got chocolate milk all in my hair n then started spraying me with code red mountain dew (hes a fiesty one that micheal) then when matt was bringing me home i poured a whole glass of ice water on him but hes fast so he ran n got the whole pitched of h2o n poured it on me... while i was in the car!!!!!!!! oh yah and me n matthew almost DIED cause he is an awful driver!
yeaaah my mom just got here... :-\ i hate it when shes here i really do. its not her i dont like its the way everyone acts when shes here. my dad will do anything to make her happy and i hate when he caters to her he tried to make her feel like shes god, n it pisses me off. and she freaking tells him all the time how shes going to move back in and i fucking hate it b/c shes been gone for like a year and she tells him that about every week and it makes him so happy to think shes comming back n every fucking week she doesnt do it n makes up some shitty excuse, and it fucking makes me sick to my stomach to see how much my dad loves her and she dosnt even fucking care and just uses him and makes him feel like shit all the time... and ppl always wonder why i never keep my b/f's HMMM mabe b/c love is fucking worthless... i see every damn day what my dad goes through and guys expect me to be with them so one day that shit can happen to me? i dont think so, i would rather die than go through what she puts my dad through. my brother does that shit too,,, he tried so hard to make her feel comfortable and i think im the only one in my family who sees what shes doing and i dont cave into her, she didnt even call me on my birthday, MOM.... what mom??? like i did not expect a gift at all but she didnt even take 5 damn seconds out of her life to call me and tell me happy birthday, i couldnt ever talk about this with her b/c my emotions get going and i realize how much i love and hate her and i think i would fucking grab a knife and stab her in her face... and i dont pity myself at all b/c i know there ppl who have it worse than me but honestly she needs to stop being a worthless piece of shit and stop fucking with everyones heads!!! but yah... haha that got a little off my chest... i will write later peaceeeeeeeeee i feel better :) bye ladies! this really was a good day tho!!! till tomorrow- i open my goodies from x-mas and hannukah! byyyyye |
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